Cars

I art so well.

Really, I try to avoid to draw anything with wheels.

Had a brief moment of panic this past week when my car decided to not start one morning.  Instantly thought this was gonna be Old Car all over again, with the added twist of “BUT I’M STILL TRYING TO PAY THIS CAR OFF HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME RAAAAGGGHHHH.”

Turned out, my car just needed to have a new battery.  It’s nice to have a car where someone mechanically inclined can actually pinpoint what’s wrong instead of being stumped.  Truly glorious.

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Mistakes Were Made

How will I check Instagram 10 times an hour without it???

Yep.

Fell down a rabbit hole of election news for a good solid hour a few days ago.  Managed to get my heart rate/anxiety up.

On the plus side, this is the first time I’ve done that in ages.  And I don’t plan on doing it again soon.  Because I’m not actually learning anything or taking anything in.  Just worrying.

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Therapist Hunting

It’s one way to handle the search.

I know what you’re all thinking.

And the answer is – yes, I really can’t draw dartboards.  Looks like I’ll have to add it the list, alongside cars.

In all seriousness, though, I do need a therapist to get my anxiety under control.  And I am in the process of looking for one.  It’s not as easy as I would’ve hoped, and it does honestly feel like I’m throwing darts at a dartboard hoping that one will stick.  I just don’t want to make the wrong choice.

Oh, and also I don’t know what Quincy is either.  I…just liked the way he looked.  So, here he is.

I seriously need to introduce some characters.  I still introduce Dot’s monster friends.  And get back to her storyline.

One thing at a time!

Right now: therapy.

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4 AM

I stand by my statement in panel 2.

Yes, this comic was based on an idea I had when I woke up at 4 in the morning.  No, I didn’t write it down.  Just hoped that I would remember it by the time I got out of bed.  Like I always do.

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Weathering the Storm of Anxiety

MUCH later.

I need someone to do this to me in real life, just to stop the almost obsessive need to check the weather over and over and over again.  ‘Cause it’s not going to change in the 30 seconds since I looked at it.

I may or may not have gotten caught in this awful cycle for a good 30 minutes a couple nights back.  I may or may not have also cried out of frustration.  My brain is a strange and terrifying place.

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2020

Happy New Year, everyone!

There isn’t a new comic today (unfortunately).  But, with it being a brand new year and, heck, a brand new decade, I still wanted to pop in and post something.  More specifically, what I want to try and make happen this year.

So, here it is – Drew’s List o’ Goals for 2020.

1. Make it to the gym at least 3 times a week.  Weight loss tends to be one of the more common New Year’s Resolutions, and Lord knows it’s been one of mine for the past few years.  And, well, it really hasn’t…worked out.  So, maybe this is an easier, more concrete goal: get to the gym at least one more time a week.  And maybe watch what I eat more.  I’m a bored eater – I eat when there’s nothing else to do.  So I have to make the effort to watch what goes in my mouth more.

2. 10:00 – all electronics go OFF.  The laptop is easy enough.  The phone, on the other hand – that’s where I get in trouble.  I’ll end up falling down a rabbit hole and the next thing I know, it’s closing in on midnight, when I wanted to go to bed at 11.  So it’s time to make the attempt.  10:00 rolls around, and the phone is off.  Hopefully this’ll help with my sleeping habits as well.

3. Read read read READ.  Going along with the last one, it would probably behoove me to pick up a book and just decompress before I go to sleep.  But I also need to read more in general.  My book list is getting ridiculous.  I’ve got birthday/Christmas books lying around my room that haven’t been touched.  It’s kinda sad.  Also, I need to break into the myriad of cookbooks I’ve got lying around.  I love to look at them, but I really need to use them.

4. Explore more original characters.  This is probably the one goal that is most related to I Draw Walruses.  I’ve got all these ideas bouncing around in my head for new characters, some that have come about due to Inktober, and I want to get them out there.  So, that might be popping up here on IDW and my Instagram.  Now, Lars, Eliza, and everyone else – they aren’t going away.  Trust me.  Just want to give these new guys a bit of spotlight, that’s all.  Pretty sure that’s why I made this Christmas story about the Seasons.

5. WRITING.  UGH.  Another one I say every year.  And I barely make an effort to do so.  But I’m not letting go of it, because I know I need to do it.  Writing is a part of me, and I need to delve into it, to make sure my skills don’t just rust.  One of my professors straight up said that we will not write once we graduate – not unless we make the effort.

Damn.  He was right.

6. Let’s play some video games.  Bit of an odd one.  But there are video games that I want to try, and I just haven’t.  I could – but instead I end up doing what I always do.  YouTube and Reddit.  So maybe, when I get bored, I could try something else, like exploring some new games.  Or – again, a bit odd – watch some new shows?  Or at least catch up on some old ones.  I’m still in the second season of one show, and it just released it’s fourth, so I’m waaaaay behind.

And there we go.  Goals for the new year.  Not resolutions.  Goals.  I’ve got 12 months ahead of me to try and make these a reality.  Have to tell myself that.  But I’m looking forward to trying them out!

Here’s to 2020.  And here’s to making it an awesome year.

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Ugh People

DREW’S HAVING FEELINGS

I am well aware that I have a very small audience.

A handful of people reading this blog, a slightly bigger handful following me on Instagram – not a whole lotta eyeballs looking at my work.

So, one of the things that I do find myself fantasizing about is gaining that audience, having people follow me and seeing what I do.  And maybe, if I got big enough, I could even try and make this a career.  I mean, that was the dream when I was younger, right?   Professional cartoonist.

However – and this is a very BIG however – there are moments where I pause and say, “Do I want that?  I mean – really?”

Because people, in my honest opinion, are terrifying.

They whine if you don’t do this.  They can rip you apart if they so feel like it.  They complain, spread rumors, drag your name through the mud, try to get you “cancelled” – again, all terrifying.

There is this YouTuber that I enjoy, Kurtis Conner.  Nice enough guy, I like his commentary.  He had a friend who said something stupid, and suddenly he got dragged into it simply by association, being the bigger name.  Another artist who just released a generally well recieved cartoon pilot is facing people digging up dirt from when she was a teenager – stuff that she had already apologized for and was, overall, generally irrelevant.

And don’t get me started on the Pokemon community as of late.  That’s more than enough to make me want to hide under my covers forever.

So right now, I’m feeling stuck in this odd place – wanting to get my name out there, and scared of what would happen if I do.  Fun stuff, all around.

I’m going to keep chugging along and drawing, of course.  But, man.  People.  Exhausting.

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Nothing New

Lars’ reaction is truly my reaction after drawing this.

…trying to figure out how to word this.  It’s not so much that the novelty of having a new car has worn off by now, because it hasn’t.  I mean, I have a car that runs, which is amazing.  It’s more like I forget how big buying a car is.

It sounds weird, but it’s true.  I mean, I’m going to be paying it off for a while – how do I forget something like that?  Honestly, I don’t know.  I just remember having this feeling a few weeks back of, “Man, nothing really big has happened to me this year.”  Then I was like, “Oh.  Right.  The car.”

Maybe it’s part of being an adult and having other things on my mind.  Like, okay, got a set of wheels that gets me places, check.  Got the payment plan all set up, check.  Now, what’s next on my list?  Suppose that makes the most sense.  I think.

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Ego of Spring

Spring needs to take a PILL.

She got a couple of comics.  What more does she want?

In all honesty, though, I have gotten a bit haphazard with uploading.  It has been this lovely mix of being tired from work, feeling like I don’t have enough time, and yeah, general laziness.  But I am working on rectifying that.  Got some comics in the works, and I’m not giving up this blog that easily.  It’s been 4 years of work, and I’ve never kept a project going for this long before.  So why stop now?

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Stuck

Bummer indeed.

Getting stuck in a rut is always fun, isn’t it?

Just feeling as though you’re stuck doing the same thing, week after bloody week, not entirely sure how you’re going to get yourself out of it.

That was me last week: feeling really, really bored, with a dash of depression and a hint of restlessness.  Like, something’s wrong, right?  But what is it?

It’s not my job, I think.  I quite enjoy what I’m doing with the library, and honestly can’t imagine doing something else right now.

And yet, aside from the job, something feels off.

Like I should be doing something else.  In addition to the job, I mean.

Do I need to go out and get myself something new?  Like a new tattoo, or maybe a new laptop?  But will that really solve things in the long run, or is it just a simple patch?

Side note: I do want to do both of those things, but, y’know, money and all.  But they will happen.

Maybe I need another hobby.  Start getting into something new, like knitting.

Or maybe I need to revisit old hobbies.  Lord knows the last time I sat down and wrote something for fun.  Maybe finally try to pursue that childhood dream of being published.  I’m starting to come across more and more writers who are my age who’ve already published multiple books.

Is that it?  Have I let my dreams fall by the wayside?  Is that what this rut is trying to tell me?

Because that’s the good thing about being stuck in a rut.  It tells you that something is wrong, that maybe you need to change something up, add some spice to your life.

The only question you have to answer is, what is it?  What do you want to do?

That’s something I’ll definitely be thinking about in the future.

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