Things I’ve Learned at the Gym: The PAIN

"The weirdest part is that I think she ENJOYS it..."
“The weirdest part is that I think she ENJOYS it…”

Wish I could say I was exaggerating.

But no.

Recently, I’ve had moments when, after coming back from the gym, I can barely lift my arms/move in general.  Especially after I’ve had a workout with my trainer.  Never really when I’ve gone there by myself, which either means that I’m not pushing myself hard enough when I’m on my own or personal training just hurts all around.

Now, whenever I met with my trainer in the past, I was sore, but never this sore.  Like, first time going to the gym in ages sore.  I figure there are two reasons for this new level of pain.  One is that there was this huge gap in the summer where I wasn’t able to meet with my trainer, so my body’s trying to acclimate itself again.  The other is the dreaded push up.

Would make sense – I’ve been having to do those a lot recently, and all the areas that are in agony are those that my trainer claims that push ups are meant to “help” or “work out.”  By which I think she means “sadistically punish.”  So as of now, push ups are running neck in neck with planks as The Worst Exercise Ever and I Don’t Wanna.

The weirdest part is that it’s like a delayed reaction of sorts.  I’ll be fine walking in the door – maybe a bit tired, definitely sweaty.  I’ll go upstairs, run a shower, step in…and find that everytime I try to raise my arms it feels like someone’s stabbing me in my ribcage/shoulders/EVERYTHING.  I just wanna take a nice relaxing shower and my body’s screaming “LIE DOWN YOU FOOL JUST LIE DOWN.”

So I rush through my shower, get out, grab my towel – and hence this comic.  Just, can’t do it.  Can’t reach my head.  So I’m slightly damp upon finally being able to lie down and not move for a few hours.  I’ve had moments where I’ve considered asking someone for help.  My pride has a tendency to win out in these cases, though.  But I’ve been close.

This can last for days, too.  Trying to get out of bed the next few mornings is interesting.  Another delayed reaction, as I won’t feel it until I attempt to go down the stairs and my legs, my back, my everything starts to scream out in pain.  All in all, it’s been a strange throwback to my first days at the gym.

So how do I deal with it?  Mostly just by gritting my teeth and dealing with it.  I tell myself it’s okay, it means that I got in a good workout, and one day hopefully it’ll hurt a lot less.  In the meantime, I’ll just cope with having wet hair.

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The Head Walrus himself, so to speak.

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